As a young woman growing up in the west, I am constantly reminded that in the eyes of my society, I will never be good enough. I will never be good enough because I will never look good enough. And I will never look good enough until I chain myself to society's endless list of demands.
Standing in line at a checkout, I am told that I have not yet achieved my skin's ultimate glow.
But not to worry, there is something for that.
I am told that my weight is not ideal.
But not to worry, they have tips and tricks for that.
I am told my curves are unnatural, further reminded by the frustration felt after countless shopping trips.
I am not thin enough nor am I tall enough. My nails need work, my eyebrows need work. My clothes would also look a bit better if they hugged me a little tighter. Forget the scarf, I am told of my beauty's inverse relationship with my clothes- in this case, the less the clothing, the more beautiful I will appear in the eyes of others.
And if society's demands weren't bad enough as they were, they continue to change. The length of my hair no longer complies with society's standards, neither does the length of my skirt, leaving me chasing after demands with seemingly no end in sight. What I failed to realize all these years, however, is that these ideals of beauty have been changing for as long as humans have been in existence.
And that is when it finally hit me.
These very ideals that have caused young girls to starve themselves, to cut themselves and to torture themselves mentally and emotionally were ideals devised by human beings. A product of societal construction, women are forced into literally buying into a notion of beauty crafted intelligently by men willing to exploit these women on behest of their gain. Not only do they set a bar so high women are left gasping for air from the cruel physical and mental exhaustion experienced thereof, they set the bar in relation to THEIR perception of true beauty. How then, am I supposed to buy into society's definition of beauty when its definer shares not a single demographic with me? How could I ever feel satisfied complying with standards that would continue to change, as they are nothing more than a product of human creation? It was the realization of this simple fact that allowed me to discover the reasons behind society's faulted, unattainable notion of beauty.
I suddenly felt the biggest wave of relief I had felt in a very long time, for it was at that moment when I realized the incredibly simplistic nature of my Creator's standards for me, the only one who truly even mattered in the first place. To him, neither the colour of my skin nor the size of my hips mattered, so long as my character fell beautifully in line with his demands of holding myself upright as a virtuous Muslim woman. In complying with these standards, I would find the honour, respect and beauty we had been told to search for in all the wrong places by all the wrong people. The very people who would constantly remind us that we would never attain beauty, so long as we refrained from living up to their standards. Their oft-deceiving standards. In the eyes of my Creator, I would always remain testament to the beauty of all that He had created. For I was yet another example of a masterpiece created by none other than the Master himself. The Master of the Day of Judgement, a day when I will be asked not of the colour of my skin, nor the numbers that had appeared on scales throughout my lifetime, but of content of my heart and the weight of my good deeds. On that day, I realized that I would not be judged for the colour or the plumpness of my lips, but of the words that they spoke, be they good or bad. Allah set the standards for me so low, yet promised to elevate me to a status so high in comparison to the women who my society told me to emulate.
The mind is a beautiful thing, and a single belief can alter with such force one's entire outlook on life. My convinced belief in Allah (SWT) frees me from the slavery my society continuously tries disguise as the truest example of liberation for women. We all have our insecurities. However, the real problem lies in one elevating the importance of their physical blemishes and insecurities over the more important issue at hand.
I am beautiful and I have found beauty in a faith that frees me from living up to illusory standards. If I can remind myself of this everyday, then God Willing, I will find pleasure solely in the recognition I receive from my Creator and none other. This type of beauty is attainable and ever-lasting. This is a type of beauty that is inspired by faith. And that is all I aspire to be. Beautifullyfaithful.
And whatever thing you [people] have been given - it is [only for] the enjoyment of worldly life and its adornment. And what is with Allah is better and more lasting; so will you not use reason? [28:60]
*a reminder to myself before all others*
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